I'm terrified of sexual assault. I don't want myself or anyone else in this world to go through it. Although I know people of all ages, genders and (skin) colours may undergo sexual assault, I speak of my experiences and perspectives as a 22 year old woman of colour. I am terrified of sexual assault.… Continue reading The fear of sexual assault
Tag: anxiety
Just getting things off my chest
Living abroad is a whole different kind of challenge that I have never experienced before. I usually try not to think about the difficulties but it's been getting to me lately. My friendships feel superficial, I don't understand the language, and going to the grocery store is an anxiety-provoking activity. I have never, ever felt… Continue reading Just getting things off my chest
Hi S,
Hi S, How are you doing? You probably don’t read my blog, but I felt like writing you this letter anyway. It’s been two and a half years since we parted ways. And it’s been a little over two years since I have seen your face. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re happy… Continue reading Hi S,
Night silence
You know, living alone, it's the nights that are the quietest. Past 8:00 PM, when nearly everybody from my old life is asleep and everybody from my new life seemingly has plans. I unlock my phone and there's no messages. I open someone's chat and hope to see them online. But they're not. Or, they… Continue reading Night silence
Loneliness
As I grow older, there's this pervasive sense of loneliness that grows within me. It was a small blot as a child, barely noticeable but as I enter adulthood, it's been growing and growing and growing. And I see no way of stopping it. I crave real relationships, deeper relationships. I crave a shoulder to… Continue reading Loneliness
Crutches
You know, when I get anxious sometimes or when I get particularly reminiscent, this strange compulsion settles over me. I want to hear my ex's voice, because for a while in the past, his voice would soothe me and comfort me. It would quiet me down and some nights, his voice was all that I… Continue reading Crutches
I don’t deserve a good friend
There's some things about myself that I just haven't been able to put into words so far. But I'm going to try right now. Hopefully I can unpack this enough to help myself start working on it. I do my best to be a positive influence on others' lives. I try to help them in… Continue reading I don’t deserve a good friend
Imposter
Sometimes this feeling of utter and complete mediocrity washes over me. I feel as if the ones closest to me are just so much better than I am, have more figured out than I do and are all-around more mature than me. I don't like that. Because more often than not, that feeling is mainly… Continue reading Imposter
Healing stress through gratitude
Nobody ever told me how absolutely stressful going abroad to study is. Maybe things are more difficult because of the pandemic, but this is a kind of stress and worry that I have never experienced before. Nearly every night, I'll receive an email from university, or some other important entity I'm interacting with and it… Continue reading Healing stress through gratitude
Bad days
Everyone has good days and bad days. I've been having a couple of meh-ish, bad days in a row now. It's not too serious, but I feel like these things build up, you know? My bad days usually start with a feeling of heaviness when I wake up in the morning; maybe because of a… Continue reading Bad days
Memoirs of a Muse 