Healing stress through gratitude

Nobody ever told me how absolutely stressful going abroad to study is. Maybe things are more difficult because of the pandemic, but this is a kind of stress and worry that I have never experienced before. Nearly every night, I'll receive an email from university, or some other important entity I'm interacting with and it… Continue reading Healing stress through gratitude

Packing up my things

Last afternoon, I began packing up my things and putting them in boxes for when I leave. I dropped books and little trinkets into those boxes one by one. And as I did, I realised that I wasn't just packing up my things. I was packing up my life, my childhood. 21 years of existence… Continue reading Packing up my things

A Proactive Approach

There's a lot of things to do right now. Immigration. Paying my fees for university. Housing. So many things. In fact, just this week (as I wrote in my last post), I had a bit of a mini-breakdown thinking about whether it's even worth leaving the country, spending so much money and living alone. But… Continue reading A Proactive Approach

Should I not leave?

My immigration form for the Netherlands came yesterday and it's all feeling so real now. Things are moving fast, really fast. And I feel really unprepared about the whole thing. I feel like I don't know anything about the immigration process, housing applications and life in general outside my home. It's really terrifying me. What's… Continue reading Should I not leave?

Independence

I had somewhat of a mini-breakthrough today. For months, I've been subconsciously afraid of leaving the country, living on my own and stepping into the full-blown adult life. It's a fear I've been trying to ignore, or minimise, yet it's nearly always at the back of my mind. I mean, it's going to be my… Continue reading Independence

A COVID Death

My mum and I were just having a conversation. She told me that when someone dies of old age, it's easier to accept. As much as you have loved them, the fact that they were so old makes it a little easier to accept. Yet, when someone passes away before their time due to a… Continue reading A COVID Death

Fear of COVID 19

This pandemic has shaken a lot of us up, myself included. Like everyone else, I have never experienced anything like this in my entire life. This is unchartered territory for me. I have never been advised to stay home for as long as we have, I have never gone so long without seeing my friends… Continue reading Fear of COVID 19

Waiting for the next ‘big thing’

Lately, it feels like my days are just 'fillers' until I go away to college. Everyday feels the same: I wake up, do my morning chores, sit in front of my laptop and just stare. Nothing feels like it has any value anymore. I think the pandemic plays a part in it, of course. But… Continue reading Waiting for the next ‘big thing’

Sacrificing for love

We were having a discussion about love, relationships and marriage in my Positive Psychology class today. I didn't listen to the entire class, but when I tuned in, my professor was speaking about sacrifice. Sacrifice for love. Some of my fellow students expressed that they didn't believe love is enough for a relationship or marriage,… Continue reading Sacrificing for love

Not reading lately

I haven't been reading lately and it's gnawing at me. I was someone who used to be glued to a book as a child, even as a teenager. But the past few months, I feel like this part of me has been slipping away. I keep making excuses not to read; telling myself I'm too… Continue reading Not reading lately