I can still somewhat remember the evening I got into university. It was in February, I think. Nothing extraordinary. I remember walking from the living room and into my room, plopping down at my desk. I opened my laptop, and there it was, sent just a few minutes ago. An email from the University of… Continue reading UvA acceptance
It's 8:53 AM on Monday morning, August 15, 2022. I have to move out of my little studio by noon. That's 3 hours and 7 minutes to go. 3 hours and 7 minutes until this little studio apartment is no longer my home. It's breaking my heart a little. This is very personal to me,… Continue reading Moving out
I can’t sleep / going home
I can't sleep tonight. Or rather, I don't want to sleep tonight. There's a lot on my mind if I'm being honest, but the feeling in my chest right now is something unique. There's a heaviness in my chest that I have only felt since I have moved to Amsterdam. The heaviness is what I… Continue reading I can’t sleep / going home
Just getting things off my chest
Living abroad is a whole different kind of challenge that I have never experienced before. I usually try not to think about the difficulties but it's been getting to me lately. My friendships feel superficial, I don't understand the language, and going to the grocery store is an anxiety-provoking activity. I have never, ever felt… Continue reading Just getting things off my chest
I went to Utrecht today. There was a magic in the air. I fell in absolute awe and love with the city as I walked the cobbled streets, listened to the sounds of cycle gears shifting and danced to beautiful music in my mind. Nothing compares to the emotion I am feeling right now. Nothing… Continue reading Zeke
Healing stress through gratitude
Nobody ever told me how absolutely stressful going abroad to study is. Maybe things are more difficult because of the pandemic, but this is a kind of stress and worry that I have never experienced before. Nearly every night, I'll receive an email from university, or some other important entity I'm interacting with and it… Continue reading Healing stress through gratitude
Should I not leave?
My immigration form for the Netherlands came yesterday and it's all feeling so real now. Things are moving fast, really fast. And I feel really unprepared about the whole thing. I feel like I don't know anything about the immigration process, housing applications and life in general outside my home. It's really terrifying me. What's… Continue reading Should I not leave?
I had somewhat of a mini-breakthrough today. For months, I've been subconsciously afraid of leaving the country, living on my own and stepping into the full-blown adult life. It's a fear I've been trying to ignore, or minimise, yet it's nearly always at the back of my mind. I mean, it's going to be my… Continue reading Independence