When I was a toddler, I built an incredibly strong bond with my father. He would read me books, from cover to cover. He would tell me the night time stories he grew up listening to. And him and I would, nearly every weekend, have our father-daughter time in our red Santro, on the way… Continue reading How my father affects my YA life
You know, living alone, it's the nights that are the quietest. Past 8:00 PM, when nearly everybody from my old life is asleep and everybody from my new life seemingly has plans. I unlock my phone and there's no messages. I open someone's chat and hope to see them online. But they're not. Or, they… Continue reading Night silence
What’s mine and what’s yours
You came into my home and settled in On day 1, it was my mug, my towel and my blanket It was you laying in my bed, drinking my water and looking out my windows But on day 2, momentarily; They became your mug, your towel and our blanket We laid in a bed, not… Continue reading What’s mine and what’s yours
As I grow older, there's this pervasive sense of loneliness that grows within me. It was a small blot as a child, barely noticeable but as I enter adulthood, it's been growing and growing and growing. And I see no way of stopping it. I crave real relationships, deeper relationships. I crave a shoulder to… Continue reading Loneliness
I don’t deserve a good friend
There's some things about myself that I just haven't been able to put into words so far. But I'm going to try right now. Hopefully I can unpack this enough to help myself start working on it. I do my best to be a positive influence on others' lives. I try to help them in… Continue reading I don’t deserve a good friend
**I wrote this a while ago, but am just getting around to posting it** I had casual sex for the first time today. 'Casual' casual sex. Not sex with someone I've known a couple of months, have built a friendship with or am in a relationship with. I had sex with someone I met literally… Continue reading Casual
Should I not leave?
My immigration form for the Netherlands came yesterday and it's all feeling so real now. Things are moving fast, really fast. And I feel really unprepared about the whole thing. I feel like I don't know anything about the immigration process, housing applications and life in general outside my home. It's really terrifying me. What's… Continue reading Should I not leave?
I had somewhat of a mini-breakthrough today. For months, I've been subconsciously afraid of leaving the country, living on my own and stepping into the full-blown adult life. It's a fear I've been trying to ignore, or minimise, yet it's nearly always at the back of my mind. I mean, it's going to be my… Continue reading Independence