I watched the clock strike 12 and into 2022 with a friend just over 18 minutes ago. A few minutes before the New Year, she stood still, praying to the sky above, thanking everyone who made her life wonderful this year and hoping for a good following year. My prayers found me a little while… Continue reading 2022
Category: Thoughts
I hate lockdowns
So, the Netherlands is in lockdown. A fucking hard lockdown, for a month, during the fucking holidays. I am so, so, so frustrated by this. I've been working my ass off since the moment I got here. I've been studying and that's virtually all I've been doing because I wanted to do well in my… Continue reading I hate lockdowns
I don’t deserve a good friend
There's some things about myself that I just haven't been able to put into words so far. But I'm going to try right now. Hopefully I can unpack this enough to help myself start working on it. I do my best to be a positive influence on others' lives. I try to help them in… Continue reading I don’t deserve a good friend
Imposter
Sometimes this feeling of utter and complete mediocrity washes over me. I feel as if the ones closest to me are just so much better than I am, have more figured out than I do and are all-around more mature than me. I don't like that. Because more often than not, that feeling is mainly… Continue reading Imposter
17 days
So, I'm leaving in about 17 days. Moving to another country, leaving this life behind and starting a new one. It's a period of many changes, ends and beginnings. I'm leaving. It doesn't get anymore real than that. Well, I've been spending my last few days home with my friends, a little bit with my… Continue reading 17 days
Independence
I had somewhat of a mini-breakthrough today. For months, I've been subconsciously afraid of leaving the country, living on my own and stepping into the full-blown adult life. It's a fear I've been trying to ignore, or minimise, yet it's nearly always at the back of my mind. I mean, it's going to be my… Continue reading Independence
A COVID Death
My mum and I were just having a conversation. She told me that when someone dies of old age, it's easier to accept. As much as you have loved them, the fact that they were so old makes it a little easier to accept. Yet, when someone passes away before their time due to a… Continue reading A COVID Death
Fear of COVID 19
This pandemic has shaken a lot of us up, myself included. Like everyone else, I have never experienced anything like this in my entire life. This is unchartered territory for me. I have never been advised to stay home for as long as we have, I have never gone so long without seeing my friends… Continue reading Fear of COVID 19
Waiting for the next ‘big thing’
Lately, it feels like my days are just 'fillers' until I go away to college. Everyday feels the same: I wake up, do my morning chores, sit in front of my laptop and just stare. Nothing feels like it has any value anymore. I think the pandemic plays a part in it, of course. But… Continue reading Waiting for the next ‘big thing’
Sacrificing for love
We were having a discussion about love, relationships and marriage in my Positive Psychology class today. I didn't listen to the entire class, but when I tuned in, my professor was speaking about sacrifice. Sacrifice for love. Some of my fellow students expressed that they didn't believe love is enough for a relationship or marriage,… Continue reading Sacrificing for love
Memoirs of a Muse 