So, I’m leaving in about 17 days. Moving to another country, leaving this life behind and starting a new one. It’s a period of many changes, ends and beginnings. I’m leaving. It doesn’t get anymore real than that.
Well, I’ve been spending my last few days home with my friends, a little bit with my family and have been trying new things that I’ve always wanted to. Things are good right now, really good. I’m happier than I have been in quite some time. I feel nice. I’m surrounded by the people I love, who love me and I’m feeling at peace.
And I met a boy. 3 months before I leave. He’s great. We have great conversations, had really nice sex and are able to understand one another’s perspectives. I really like him, but I know that he doesn’t want a relationship and I know that I’m not ready for one. It’s strange to feel this attraction, half-love (not love love, but limerence maybe) and also friendship towards someone. He’s wonderful. And I feel a sense of adventure and exploration with him. I wish I’d met him earlier.
Things are so good right now. But I’m leaving. That’s scary.
Memoirs of a Muse 