So, I was in Paris for about a week. Five days to be exact. The trip was absolutely magical. Genuinely, it was ethereal. I fell in awe of the city, the people and the atmosphere. I like big cities, I grew up in one. Paris felt like being transported back to India in the confines… Continue reading My Parisian fairytale
Category: Reflections
French boy
I met a French boy exactly a week ago. I looked at him and immediately knew I liked him. He was different from most men I've been attracted to in the past. Quiet, shy, smiles to himself when he's thinking and laughs as a defence mechanism. He was cute. Seemed a little inexperienced with girls… Continue reading French boy
Grey
Recently, a friend of mine asked me what colour I think she is. She's a cute girl. Sarcastic, funny and expressive. The colour that comes to mind when I look at her is grey. A soft and pretty grey. It's a beautiful colour, but I felt that she wasn't satisfied with being called "grey". And… Continue reading Grey
Casual
**I wrote this a while ago, but am just getting around to posting it** I had casual sex for the first time today. 'Casual' casual sex. Not sex with someone I've known a couple of months, have built a friendship with or am in a relationship with. I had sex with someone I met literally… Continue reading Casual
Zeke
I went to Utrecht today. There was a magic in the air. I fell in absolute awe and love with the city as I walked the cobbled streets, listened to the sounds of cycle gears shifting and danced to beautiful music in my mind. Nothing compares to the emotion I am feeling right now. Nothing… Continue reading Zeke
A shift in the cosmos
Last night, I was on my rooftop with a friend. We were walking, talking and watching the clouds change shape. When I'm with him, there's no masks on. I don't feel the need to behave a certain way or say certain things, I'm just me. Authentic, real me. I'm honest with him, more honest than… Continue reading A shift in the cosmos
Healing stress through gratitude
Nobody ever told me how absolutely stressful going abroad to study is. Maybe things are more difficult because of the pandemic, but this is a kind of stress and worry that I have never experienced before. Nearly every night, I'll receive an email from university, or some other important entity I'm interacting with and it… Continue reading Healing stress through gratitude
Packing up my things
Last afternoon, I began packing up my things and putting them in boxes for when I leave. I dropped books and little trinkets into those boxes one by one. And as I did, I realised that I wasn't just packing up my things. I was packing up my life, my childhood. 21 years of existence… Continue reading Packing up my things
A Proactive Approach
There's a lot of things to do right now. Immigration. Paying my fees for university. Housing. So many things. In fact, just this week (as I wrote in my last post), I had a bit of a mini-breakdown thinking about whether it's even worth leaving the country, spending so much money and living alone. But… Continue reading A Proactive Approach
Should I not leave?
My immigration form for the Netherlands came yesterday and it's all feeling so real now. Things are moving fast, really fast. And I feel really unprepared about the whole thing. I feel like I don't know anything about the immigration process, housing applications and life in general outside my home. It's really terrifying me. What's… Continue reading Should I not leave?
Memoirs of a Muse 