More and more often lately, I've been thinking about how I want a daughter. I've always imagined myself having a daughter at some point in my life. Always a daughter, I don't know why. I've been thinking of her lately. What she'll be like, who she'll be. How I'll raise her, how I'll get to… Continue reading A little girl
Tag: happiness
When Emma falls in love
How does one even start an entry like this? I don't know where to begin because I'm feeling so much. My best friend fell in love with her best friend. And this is not about me, but I have so many feelings about it. First of all, I am just so immensely, gut-wrenchingly happy for… Continue reading When Emma falls in love
2025
It's 2025. Wow. Last year, I wrote that I wanted 2024 to be a year of self-exploration. I wanted to understand myself better, put myself in tough situations, and learn how to adapt. I've done that and so much more this past year. 2024 has been one of the wildest years of my life so… Continue reading 2025
My life is so beautiful
My life has been so beautiful so far. I have had the most wonderful experiences. I have travelled (albeit not nearly as much as I would like), I have had a loving and supportive family, I have built the warmest and closest friendships, and I have loved and been loved by so many people. I… Continue reading My life is so beautiful
Feeling dissociated
Trigger warning: self-harm I feel like I've talked about this time and time again on my blog, but, for me, talking about this never seems to get old. And my blog is the space I use to explore such thoughts in an unadulterated manner. So, here I am. I used to self-harm as a teenager.… Continue reading Feeling dissociated
UvA acceptance
I can still somewhat remember the evening I got into university. It was in February, I think. Nothing extraordinary. I remember walking from the living room and into my room, plopping down at my desk. I opened my laptop, and there it was, sent just a few minutes ago. An email from the University of… Continue reading UvA acceptance
1,000 days of gratitude
Today, I completed 1,000 days of practising gratitude every night before I go to bed. I am so glad I follow this practice, it helps me find the little joys in my life - the people and even the magic in routines and mundaneness. Even on the bad days, I have always found at least… Continue reading 1,000 days of gratitude
Zeke
I went to Utrecht today. There was a magic in the air. I fell in absolute awe and love with the city as I walked the cobbled streets, listened to the sounds of cycle gears shifting and danced to beautiful music in my mind. Nothing compares to the emotion I am feeling right now. Nothing… Continue reading Zeke
A shift in the cosmos
Last night, I was on my rooftop with a friend. We were walking, talking and watching the clouds change shape. When I'm with him, there's no masks on. I don't feel the need to behave a certain way or say certain things, I'm just me. Authentic, real me. I'm honest with him, more honest than… Continue reading A shift in the cosmos
17 days
So, I'm leaving in about 17 days. Moving to another country, leaving this life behind and starting a new one. It's a period of many changes, ends and beginnings. I'm leaving. It doesn't get anymore real than that. Well, I've been spending my last few days home with my friends, a little bit with my… Continue reading 17 days
Memoirs of a Muse 