One of my best friends in the whole entire world moved back to her home country today. She's like a sister to me. We lived together for a year and became so used to each others' presence in our everyday life. I am so used to seeing her first thing in the morning while she… Continue reading Fra
Tag: abroad
2024
It's the new year. 2024. I came to museumplein to see the fireworks this year. By myself. I was supposed to be here with a few friends but they decided not to come at the last moment because of the rain. I'm so, so, so glad that I decided to come by myself. I'm so… Continue reading 2024
UvA acceptance
I can still somewhat remember the evening I got into university. It was in February, I think. Nothing extraordinary. I remember walking from the living room and into my room, plopping down at my desk. I opened my laptop, and there it was, sent just a few minutes ago. An email from the University of… Continue reading UvA acceptance
Moving out
It's 8:53 AM on Monday morning, August 15, 2022. I have to move out of my little studio by noon. That's 3 hours and 7 minutes to go. 3 hours and 7 minutes until this little studio apartment is no longer my home. It's breaking my heart a little. This is very personal to me,… Continue reading Moving out
The fear of sexual assault
I'm terrified of sexual assault. I don't want myself or anyone else in this world to go through it. Although I know people of all ages, genders and (skin) colours may undergo sexual assault, I speak of my experiences and perspectives as a 22 year old woman of colour. I am terrified of sexual assault.… Continue reading The fear of sexual assault
I can’t sleep / going home
I can't sleep tonight. Or rather, I don't want to sleep tonight. There's a lot on my mind if I'm being honest, but the feeling in my chest right now is something unique. There's a heaviness in my chest that I have only felt since I have moved to Amsterdam. The heaviness is what I… Continue reading I can’t sleep / going home
How my father affects my YA life
When I was a toddler, I built an incredibly strong bond with my father. He would read me books, from cover to cover. He would tell me the night time stories he grew up listening to. And him and I would, nearly every weekend, have our father-daughter time in our red Santro, on the way… Continue reading How my father affects my YA life
Just getting things off my chest
Living abroad is a whole different kind of challenge that I have never experienced before. I usually try not to think about the difficulties but it's been getting to me lately. My friendships feel superficial, I don't understand the language, and going to the grocery store is an anxiety-provoking activity. I have never, ever felt… Continue reading Just getting things off my chest
My brother turned 17
My little brother turned 17 without me today. He's growing older and I'm on the other side of the globe, wishing I could be there to celebrate with him. He's the most important person in my life and I would do absolutely anything for him. It's so incredibly difficult to be so far away from… Continue reading My brother turned 17
Night silence
You know, living alone, it's the nights that are the quietest. Past 8:00 PM, when nearly everybody from my old life is asleep and everybody from my new life seemingly has plans. I unlock my phone and there's no messages. I open someone's chat and hope to see them online. But they're not. Or, they… Continue reading Night silence
Memoirs of a Muse 