Hi S, How are you doing? You probably don’t read my blog, but I felt like writing you this letter anyway. It’s been two and a half years since we parted ways. And it’s been a little over two years since I have seen your face. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re happy… Continue reading Hi S,
Night silence
You know, living alone, it's the nights that are the quietest. Past 8:00 PM, when nearly everybody from my old life is asleep and everybody from my new life seemingly has plans. I unlock my phone and there's no messages. I open someone's chat and hope to see them online. But they're not. Or, they… Continue reading Night silence
My Parisian fairytale
So, I was in Paris for about a week. Five days to be exact. The trip was absolutely magical. Genuinely, it was ethereal. I fell in awe of the city, the people and the atmosphere. I like big cities, I grew up in one. Paris felt like being transported back to India in the confines… Continue reading My Parisian fairytale
What’s mine and what’s yours
You came into my home and settled in On day 1, it was my mug, my towel and my blanket It was you laying in my bed, drinking my water and looking out my windows But on day 2, momentarily; They became your mug, your towel and our blanket We laid in a bed, not… Continue reading What’s mine and what’s yours
French boy
I met a French boy exactly a week ago. I looked at him and immediately knew I liked him. He was different from most men I've been attracted to in the past. Quiet, shy, smiles to himself when he's thinking and laughs as a defence mechanism. He was cute. Seemed a little inexperienced with girls… Continue reading French boy
Loneliness
As I grow older, there's this pervasive sense of loneliness that grows within me. It was a small blot as a child, barely noticeable but as I enter adulthood, it's been growing and growing and growing. And I see no way of stopping it. I crave real relationships, deeper relationships. I crave a shoulder to… Continue reading Loneliness
Crutches
You know, when I get anxious sometimes or when I get particularly reminiscent, this strange compulsion settles over me. I want to hear my ex's voice, because for a while in the past, his voice would soothe me and comfort me. It would quiet me down and some nights, his voice was all that I… Continue reading Crutches
Grey
Recently, a friend of mine asked me what colour I think she is. She's a cute girl. Sarcastic, funny and expressive. The colour that comes to mind when I look at her is grey. A soft and pretty grey. It's a beautiful colour, but I felt that she wasn't satisfied with being called "grey". And… Continue reading Grey
2022
I watched the clock strike 12 and into 2022 with a friend just over 18 minutes ago. A few minutes before the New Year, she stood still, praying to the sky above, thanking everyone who made her life wonderful this year and hoping for a good following year. My prayers found me a little while… Continue reading 2022
I hate lockdowns
So, the Netherlands is in lockdown. A fucking hard lockdown, for a month, during the fucking holidays. I am so, so, so frustrated by this. I've been working my ass off since the moment I got here. I've been studying and that's virtually all I've been doing because I wanted to do well in my… Continue reading I hate lockdowns
Memoirs of a Muse 