More and more often lately, I've been thinking about how I want a daughter. I've always imagined myself having a daughter at some point in my life. Always a daughter, I don't know why. I've been thinking of her lately. What she'll be like, who she'll be. How I'll raise her, how I'll get to… Continue reading A little girl
Tag: joy
When Emma falls in love
How does one even start an entry like this? I don't know where to begin because I'm feeling so much. My best friend fell in love with her best friend. And this is not about me, but I have so many feelings about it. First of all, I am just so immensely, gut-wrenchingly happy for… Continue reading When Emma falls in love
2025
It's 2025. Wow. Last year, I wrote that I wanted 2024 to be a year of self-exploration. I wanted to understand myself better, put myself in tough situations, and learn how to adapt. I've done that and so much more this past year. 2024 has been one of the wildest years of my life so… Continue reading 2025
2024
It's the new year. 2024. I came to museumplein to see the fireworks this year. By myself. I was supposed to be here with a few friends but they decided not to come at the last moment because of the rain. I'm so, so, so glad that I decided to come by myself. I'm so… Continue reading 2024
Feeling dissociated
Trigger warning: self-harm I feel like I've talked about this time and time again on my blog, but, for me, talking about this never seems to get old. And my blog is the space I use to explore such thoughts in an unadulterated manner. So, here I am. I used to self-harm as a teenager.… Continue reading Feeling dissociated
UvA acceptance
I can still somewhat remember the evening I got into university. It was in February, I think. Nothing extraordinary. I remember walking from the living room and into my room, plopping down at my desk. I opened my laptop, and there it was, sent just a few minutes ago. An email from the University of… Continue reading UvA acceptance
1,000 days of gratitude
Today, I completed 1,000 days of practising gratitude every night before I go to bed. I am so glad I follow this practice, it helps me find the little joys in my life - the people and even the magic in routines and mundaneness. Even on the bad days, I have always found at least… Continue reading 1,000 days of gratitude
The world killed the poet in me
I think the world has killed the poet in me. Or rather, the world has killed the poetry in me. As I grow older, I find myself becoming more practical, sensible, and logic-driven than I was as a child. As a child, I had my head up in the clouds, I loved poetry, I had… Continue reading The world killed the poet in me
What’s mine and what’s yours
You came into my home and settled in On day 1, it was my mug, my towel and my blanket It was you laying in my bed, drinking my water and looking out my windows But on day 2, momentarily; They became your mug, your towel and our blanket We laid in a bed, not… Continue reading What’s mine and what’s yours
Zeke
I went to Utrecht today. There was a magic in the air. I fell in absolute awe and love with the city as I walked the cobbled streets, listened to the sounds of cycle gears shifting and danced to beautiful music in my mind. Nothing compares to the emotion I am feeling right now. Nothing… Continue reading Zeke
Memoirs of a Muse 