Lately, I've been making a genuine effort to identify my patterns as a first step to changing the harmful ones. I've been trying to observe when I shut down, when I get annoyed, irked, or frustrated. I'm trying to understand why I react to things a certain way, and I've been trying to be cognizant… Continue reading Identifying my patterns
Tag: learning
I can change my mind
One of the most exciting discoveries I've made in the past year is that I can change my mind. It sounds really basic, I know. But this discovery was fundamental for me. It's been a revelation. I can change my mind, how cool is that? How cool is it to have independence, autonomy, and the… Continue reading I can change my mind
My life is so beautiful
My life has been so beautiful so far. I have had the most wonderful experiences. I have travelled (albeit not nearly as much as I would like), I have had a loving and supportive family, I have built the warmest and closest friendships, and I have loved and been loved by so many people. I… Continue reading My life is so beautiful
PhD position
I felt like I was about to get a freaking heart attack when I first found out that I'd been accepted for the PhD position I had applied for. Gosh, I remember that feeling so starkly. I had just arrived at work a few minutes ago, had pulled out my phone to look at something,… Continue reading PhD position
2024
It's the new year. 2024. I came to museumplein to see the fireworks this year. By myself. I was supposed to be here with a few friends but they decided not to come at the last moment because of the rain. I'm so, so, so glad that I decided to come by myself. I'm so… Continue reading 2024
Defining moments
I never mention people by name on my blog, but I think this time I'll make an exception. I was just listening to some voice notes my friend Vishnu sent me about his acting and shadow work. He was talking about how his dive into theatre has been deeply entwined with his spiritual journey and… Continue reading Defining moments
Shitty parents
I've been around some really shitty parents throughout my life. I've had people in my life whose parents are incredibly selfish, pathological liars, body-shamers, homophobic, and downright nasty to their children. Their mistreatment of their children was never physical, but the emotional and mental turmoil that they must have put their children through is enough… Continue reading Shitty parents
My brother is nothing like me
One of the deepest realisations I have had in my early adult life is that my brother is nothing like me, and this realisation has percolated down to my outlook on friends, acquaintances, and even my parents. You see, when I was younger, there was a time when I didn't really do as well at… Continue reading My brother is nothing like me
D7.19
A few months ago, my supervisor applied for a grant that would allow him to keep me in Amsterdam - so that we could work together, so I could learn more from him, and so I could support myself while doing it. The research topic is very interesting to me - very, very challenging because… Continue reading D7.19
UvA acceptance
I can still somewhat remember the evening I got into university. It was in February, I think. Nothing extraordinary. I remember walking from the living room and into my room, plopping down at my desk. I opened my laptop, and there it was, sent just a few minutes ago. An email from the University of… Continue reading UvA acceptance
Memoirs of a Muse 