I have a feeling she's going to read this, so hi, girlie! I said goodbye to one of my dearest friends today. It hadn't sunk in when I was saying goodbye to her, it felt like a regular goodbye: like I'm going to see her next week, and the week after, and then the week… Continue reading Liina
Tag: college
PhD position
I felt like I was about to get a freaking heart attack when I first found out that I'd been accepted for the PhD position I had applied for. Gosh, I remember that feeling so starkly. I had just arrived at work a few minutes ago, had pulled out my phone to look at something,… Continue reading PhD position
Cancer
Somebody very close to me, somebody I grew up with, was recently diagnosed with cancer. The news shocked their immediate family because, in a span of three weeks, they went from a healthy, active college student to someone who is sick and immediately needs to undergo chemotherapy. It came out of nowhere, really. These things… Continue reading Cancer
(Un)expectations and New York
I'm in the United States right now. I'm at the tail end of my trip, I leave in a day and a half. It's been an incredible trip. Confusing, full of surprises, and honestly brimming with ups and downs. I came to the US not expecting half of the things that happened. I didn't expect… Continue reading (Un)expectations and New York
My brother is nothing like me
One of the deepest realisations I have had in my early adult life is that my brother is nothing like me, and this realisation has percolated down to my outlook on friends, acquaintances, and even my parents. You see, when I was younger, there was a time when I didn't really do as well at… Continue reading My brother is nothing like me
D7.19
A few months ago, my supervisor applied for a grant that would allow him to keep me in Amsterdam - so that we could work together, so I could learn more from him, and so I could support myself while doing it. The research topic is very interesting to me - very, very challenging because… Continue reading D7.19
A dream this morning
I had a really sweet dream this morning, and I want to write it down before I forget. In the dream, I was at university (which, by the way, barely resembled the university I attend) to give an exam. I was climbing up a flight of stairs when I glanced over my shoulder to ask… Continue reading A dream this morning
UvA acceptance
I can still somewhat remember the evening I got into university. It was in February, I think. Nothing extraordinary. I remember walking from the living room and into my room, plopping down at my desk. I opened my laptop, and there it was, sent just a few minutes ago. An email from the University of… Continue reading UvA acceptance
I lied
*written a short while ago, I can't remember exactly when I lied today. About two weeks ago, while cleaning the living room of the apartment I share with my roommates, I think I broke the hand grip thing on a pot lid. Of course, it wasn't intentional, and I must've dropped it or something. I… Continue reading I lied
Rejection
Rejection is not pretty. I don't like it, and I don't imagine that anyone else does either. To me, rejection feels a lot like failure. And I don't like failing. I think my whole life, whether it is personal or academic, revolves around me doing things that minimise my chance of failure. I do not… Continue reading Rejection
Memoirs of a Muse 