More and more often lately, I've been thinking about how I want a daughter. I've always imagined myself having a daughter at some point in my life. Always a daughter, I don't know why. I've been thinking of her lately. What she'll be like, who she'll be. How I'll raise her, how I'll get to… Continue reading A little girl
Tag: Thoughts
New friends
I'm making new friends in Leiden, it's so exciting. And I mean friends. Not people I say "hi" or "bye" to on the stairs in our building. Not acquaintances. Friends. Friends who fit into different parts of my life. Friends with whom I do different types of things. It's so cool, this realisation that I… Continue reading New friends
Dissociation
I know that I dissociate, probably not to a great extent, but it happens. Last night, I had a unique experience with dissociating from my thoughts/feelings. It was really interesting. Usually, when I experience dissociation or something similar, I realise it only later. I realise it only once I'm out of that situation and look… Continue reading Dissociation
I can change my mind
One of the most exciting discoveries I've made in the past year is that I can change my mind. It sounds really basic, I know. But this discovery was fundamental for me. It's been a revelation. I can change my mind, how cool is that? How cool is it to have independence, autonomy, and the… Continue reading I can change my mind
2025
It's 2025. Wow. Last year, I wrote that I wanted 2024 to be a year of self-exploration. I wanted to understand myself better, put myself in tough situations, and learn how to adapt. I've done that and so much more this past year. 2024 has been one of the wildest years of my life so… Continue reading 2025
My life is so beautiful
My life has been so beautiful so far. I have had the most wonderful experiences. I have travelled (albeit not nearly as much as I would like), I have had a loving and supportive family, I have built the warmest and closest friendships, and I have loved and been loved by so many people. I… Continue reading My life is so beautiful
Defining moments
I never mention people by name on my blog, but I think this time I'll make an exception. I was just listening to some voice notes my friend Vishnu sent me about his acting and shadow work. He was talking about how his dive into theatre has been deeply entwined with his spiritual journey and… Continue reading Defining moments
(Un)expectations and New York
I'm in the United States right now. I'm at the tail end of my trip, I leave in a day and a half. It's been an incredible trip. Confusing, full of surprises, and honestly brimming with ups and downs. I came to the US not expecting half of the things that happened. I didn't expect… Continue reading (Un)expectations and New York
Shitty parents
I've been around some really shitty parents throughout my life. I've had people in my life whose parents are incredibly selfish, pathological liars, body-shamers, homophobic, and downright nasty to their children. Their mistreatment of their children was never physical, but the emotional and mental turmoil that they must have put their children through is enough… Continue reading Shitty parents
My brother is nothing like me
One of the deepest realisations I have had in my early adult life is that my brother is nothing like me, and this realisation has percolated down to my outlook on friends, acquaintances, and even my parents. You see, when I was younger, there was a time when I didn't really do as well at… Continue reading My brother is nothing like me
Memoirs of a Muse 