More and more often lately, I've been thinking about how I want a daughter. I've always imagined myself having a daughter at some point in my life. Always a daughter, I don't know why. I've been thinking of her lately. What she'll be like, who she'll be. How I'll raise her, how I'll get to… Continue reading A little girl
Category: Thoughts
When Emma falls in love
How does one even start an entry like this? I don't know where to begin because I'm feeling so much. My best friend fell in love with her best friend. And this is not about me, but I have so many feelings about it. First of all, I am just so immensely, gut-wrenchingly happy for… Continue reading When Emma falls in love
New friends
I'm making new friends in Leiden, it's so exciting. And I mean friends. Not people I say "hi" or "bye" to on the stairs in our building. Not acquaintances. Friends. Friends who fit into different parts of my life. Friends with whom I do different types of things. It's so cool, this realisation that I… Continue reading New friends
Liina
I have a feeling she's going to read this, so hi, girlie! I said goodbye to one of my dearest friends today. It hadn't sunk in when I was saying goodbye to her, it felt like a regular goodbye: like I'm going to see her next week, and the week after, and then the week… Continue reading Liina
Cancer
Somebody very close to me, somebody I grew up with, was recently diagnosed with cancer. The news shocked their immediate family because, in a span of three weeks, they went from a healthy, active college student to someone who is sick and immediately needs to undergo chemotherapy. It came out of nowhere, really. These things… Continue reading Cancer
Defining moments
I never mention people by name on my blog, but I think this time I'll make an exception. I was just listening to some voice notes my friend Vishnu sent me about his acting and shadow work. He was talking about how his dive into theatre has been deeply entwined with his spiritual journey and… Continue reading Defining moments
(Un)expectations and New York
I'm in the United States right now. I'm at the tail end of my trip, I leave in a day and a half. It's been an incredible trip. Confusing, full of surprises, and honestly brimming with ups and downs. I came to the US not expecting half of the things that happened. I didn't expect… Continue reading (Un)expectations and New York
Feeling dissociated
Trigger warning: self-harm I feel like I've talked about this time and time again on my blog, but, for me, talking about this never seems to get old. And my blog is the space I use to explore such thoughts in an unadulterated manner. So, here I am. I used to self-harm as a teenager.… Continue reading Feeling dissociated
Back to India
I'm going to be in India soon. 9 days to be exact. At this time, in 9 days, I will be with my family and in my childhood home. I could not be more excited. Going back to India feels a little like going on vacation but simultaneously going back home. It's really odd. This… Continue reading Back to India
My father deserved better than this
TW: A visual description of death and grief My grandpa passed away on Monday. I wrote about it. I was sad, but now I'm angry. I didn't ask how or where it happened the past three days because of everything that was going on. My father was in visible pain, it was not the right… Continue reading My father deserved better than this
Memoirs of a Muse 