Last evening, my dad and I spent hours making a budget plan for my study abroad. It’s not that I’ve been accepted anyplace yet, but it was a requirement for someplace I’m applying to.
At first, it was okay. I kept thinking, oh, we can afford this, it’s not that big a deal. But then, the expenses began racking up while the income part of my plan remained at a standstill. It got to a point where I would have literally no money of my own to spend every month. Each penny I had was accounted for. Each and every one.
And then came the budget plan for year two. At first, we didn’t take inflation into account. Simply because we forgot. And then we did. That’s when reality hit. I would be spending over € 40,000 in two years and that’s being optimistic. That’s the cost of a freaking house! I could live 9 whole lifetimes in that money. Okay, that last one is an exaggeration, but still. It’s a lot of money. And you know what? As a 20 year old, I don’t have any savings to invest in my education; I don’t have a steady income that’ll help me pay. And that means that the entire weight falls on the shoulders of my parents. Loan or no loan.
And that really scared me. Because they’re getting old too. They need money too. My brother needs money. And here I am, asking them to spend this amount on me so that I can get the education I desire.
On one hand, I don’t feel selfish at all simply because I know I can’t get what I want here, but another part of me feels an immense guilt. Why my parents? Why did I have to decide I want to study abroad? Is this even worth it?
It really freaks me out that I’ll be spending so damn much these next two years (if I decide to go). I never thought about finances seriously until now. But this was a huge HUGE wake up call.