Hi S,

Hi S, 

How are you doing? You probably don’t read my blog, but I felt like writing you this letter anyway. It’s been two and a half years since we parted ways. And it’s been a little over two years since I have seen your face. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re happy and taking care of yourself. 

I’m writing today not because I miss you or want you back. It’s neither of these things, I promise. I’m only writing to you today because I want to ask if you feel the same things I do, experience the same things I do. 

I don’t consciously make an effort to think of you during my day. Nevertheless, thoughts of you flit across my mind from time to time. It’s only natural, I tell myself. Because it is. It’s natural. You enter my stream of thoughts for just a moment and you disappear when I don’t acknowledge you or dwell on you. But you’re there, in the background, I can still feel you. 

I don’t miss you. I don’t want you back. I’m happy with the men I have been with since you. I’m happy with my life as it is right now, I would not want to change a thing. Life is good. I hope you can say the same for yourself. 

But the reason I’m writing is that sometimes, ever so often, you’ll visit me in my dreams. And in this dreamland, it’s just you and I, in love. In some of these dreams, I feel a deep sense of joy, peace, and contentment settle over me. And every time, my psyche attributes it to your presence. I wake up in the morning and, like in my thoughts, I brush you away. I don’t dwell on you. I don’t think about you too much. But you’re still here, in the background, I still feel you. 

I don’t love you. I don’t miss you. I don’t want you back. 

But I wonder, do you experience this too? Is your mind riddled with occasional thoughts of me? Are your dreams stained with my spirit? Do you feel me like I feel you? Omnipresent. Constant. A presence that waxes and wanes but never completely fades. 

Do you?