Liina

I have a feeling she’s going to read this, so hi, girlie!

I said goodbye to one of my dearest friends today. It hadn’t sunk in when I was saying goodbye to her, it felt like a regular goodbye: like I’m going to see her next week, and the week after, and then the week after that. I’m so used to having her in my life, via text or in person. She was my first real friend in Amsterdam. The first person I really felt like I could be myself with here. I remember our sleepovers during our first year, going to classical concerts together, and talking about our shared passion for research and learning. I remember going ice skating with her, watching New Year fireworks with her, and submitting my thesis with her by my side. We have so many beautiful memories together and I’m going to miss her so fucking much. I shared so much with her, learnt so much with her, and grew so much with her. She’s been a good friend, and I love her to fucking death.

As I was hugging her goodbye, it sunk in that she really is leaving. My first real friend in this country is going away. I feel so, so sad. But I am so excited for her. She’s going to Oxford. OXFORD, of all fucking places. I am so incredibly proud of her and am so excited to see everything she is going to achieve. She’s such a good, beautiful person. Saying goodbye to her is bittersweet, she’s moving on to bigger, better things for herself. She’s going to meet new people, work on new things, and live her life differently.

I think I still need some time to process this fully. I know I’ll see her again, talk to her on the phone, and text her. But I’m going to miss having her around. I’m going to miss sharing a piece of her life. I’m so deeply ecstatic for her though. She’s going to do incredible things. I’m fucking miserable she’s leaving. But I’m going to always be by her side, watching her do all the amazing things she will do.