Shitty parents

I’ve been around some really shitty parents throughout my life. I’ve had people in my life whose parents are incredibly selfish, pathological liars, body-shamers, homophobic, and downright nasty to their children. Their mistreatment of their children was never physical, but the emotional and mental turmoil that they must have put their children through is enough for me to lose respect for them.

Hearing even snippets of how some of my friends have been treated makes me think about my own parents. I think about how they, too, sometimes have these tendencies. I don’t know how happy my parents will be to find out I’m queer, for example. They’ve commented on my weight and my appearance before. They’ve questioned my worldview of things before. And I’ve been mad at them about these things. They’re not perfect, I know that. But I wish they wouldn’t behave the way they do sometimes. But, all in all, they are supportive, good parents.

Some of the parents I’ve heard about, well, they’re not so great. They say hurtful things, are passive-aggressive or treat their adult children like kids. That’s not okay. And this is not to ignore that matters could be much, much worse. There are children in horrible situations out there. For example, children who face daily abuse or children whose basic needs aren’t met. No one I know has been in a situation like that before, per my knowledge. But it still doesn’t justify their parents’ behaviour.

It makes me so, so angry to know that the people I love were mistreated by their parents. I wonder why some of them haven’t cut contact with their parents. I know that I’ve thought about it in my darkest, angriest moments with my own parents. But I also understand how complex familial, particularly parental, relationships are. And although I sometimes genuinely wonder how they have been able to keep a cool mind and a smile with the things they encounter, I see why they don’t cut their parents out.

I guess I’m just angry, and I wanted to express this. I’ve been rambling a lot on here, but that’s okay.