Lately, it feels like my days are just ‘fillers’ until I go away to college. Everyday feels the same: I wake up, do my morning chores, sit in front of my laptop and just stare. Nothing feels like it has any value anymore. I think the pandemic plays a part in it, of course. But I also feel like the only thing I’m doing right now is waiting.
I don’t want to focus on university at all, they’re needlessly making things hard for students.
I don’t want to focus on my social life because let’s be honest, with this pandemic, there isn’t much of one.
I don’t want to focus on guitar, dance or art. It gives me joy, sure. But I feel so burdened by everything else.
I don’t want to focus on anything for a bit. I just feel like I’m not doing anything of value with my life currently and as if I’m waiting for the next big thing, moving to another country and starting anew. I’m waiting. And honestly, I hate feeling like I’m simply waiting.
Memoirs of a Muse 