Small specks of my long-term memory allow me glimpses of what it was like when I first learned to read. I didn’t read my first, tenth or fifteenth story book at school like some children do. Instead, I enjoyed my first ever story with my head laying on my papa’s chest and his voice reading a book cover to cover for me. He’d start with the title. The author. The publisher. The illustrator. The editor.
Then, the plot itself.
I learned the work that goes into penning down a single tale at a fairly young age. My father made sure of that. He instilled the love for literature in me (a love that often became a matter of conflict between us in the future, but a love nonetheless). I grew to appreciate every single process, from the creativity of the author to the precise lettering on the cover. As a baby, I was a book connoisseur.
And this is a passion I’ve carried forward with me. I’ve almost lost it through some of my more tumultuous years, but somehow I’ve held on to it despite being on that verge.
That being stated, there are some books that I’ve read that have truly impacted me, changed me and shaped me. Here are some stories of why, how and when (these are just my experiences, not a review of the books themselves).
The Days of Gold and Sepia by Yasmeen Premji
I was around 15 when I first read this book. I remember exactly how I felt while I browsed through the words. It was a borrowed book, from my aunt. I read it once, returned it and it was gone. Since then, I’ve searched a multitude of bookstores for the book, I’ve looked it up on Amazon and I’ve tried to download a pdf version. But, for some reason, everytime I’d try, I’d fall just short of finding it. Until one day, I visited a secondhand bookstore with someone special. We sat in the Indian author section for about thirty minutes. I’d given up in the first fifteen. Yet, I could feel that the book was there. I just knew. And so did he. So, while I’d stopped and had retired to sitting on the floor. He looked and looked until he finally found it, tucked behind a stack of books. My heart welled up with emotion when I saw it in his hand. I remember how wide I smiled. I remember my excitement, my nerves and my happiness. I was ecstatic. He gave me a little peck and then bought the book for me. It’s one of my favourite moments. I was 19 when I found the book again. And I fell in love with it all over again.
Letters to Sam by Daniel Gottlieb
There are some lessons to life that your parents cannot teach you, some that you must learn yourself and some that an absolute stranger could bestow upon you. ‘Letters to Sam’ played that role for me. This book strengthened my feelings about the importance of love, patience, understanding. It opened my eyes to new ways of seeing people, my own and strangers alike. I now understand the importance of relationships as well as the power of solitude. Gottlieb speaks to his grandson Sam in this paperback, but really, his lessons apply to anyone growing up in the 21st century. There is one quote that I take forward with me since I first read the book:
When the heart weeps for what it’s lost, the soul rejoices for what it’s gained.
Daniel Gottlieb, Letters to Sam
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
I remember where I bought this book. And I remember that it was an impulse buy. Gatsby didn’t change my life. It wasn’t one of those special books that absolutely shook my beliefs at their roots and forced me to question myself and it wasn’t special in a way that I could never get it out of my head. Instead, it was special in the way I read it. I would sit in my balcony, on my red bean chair, snuggled comfortably into myself. My glasses would be on my nose and I’d spend hours reading. Sounds from my neighbourhood would serve as white noise. Sometimes, the sky would darken and the rain would keep me company. This book holds the magic that I felt those many months ago. Gatsby’s sentiments, Nick’s and Daisy’s would engulf me. I would feel as if Fitzgerald was speaking to me, a 17 year old Indian girl, rather than narrating one his best works. This plot wasn’t as special to me as the way I felt in those moments.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Prior to reading ‘The Alchemist’, I didn’t know that I needed a book like that to teach me what it did. I couldn’t have imagined the impact it had on me. I read this one when my personal and academic growth was at a rather standstill. I wasn’t motivated, at the time. But this book raised a flurry of inspiration inside me. I followed this tale as if it were a metaphor, which I truly believe it is. This book didn’t teach me much in terms of understanding myself and my dreams. Instead, it taught me the importance of purpose in one’s life. The unwavering desire to keep moving forward. I recently watched a movie in which a specific quote reminded me of the theme of this book, roughly translated, it goes something like this: “I will not change my dreams to fit my reality. Instead, I will change my reality to fit my dreams.”
The Vampire Academy Series by Richelle Mead
Ah, Dimitri Belikov. A 24 year old Russian man that I absolutely fell head over heels for when I was 13 years old. As silly as it sounds, it wasn’t his looks, his courage or his intelligence that I was attracted to, and am still attracted to. Instead, it’s his sense of integrity and honour. It’s his candor and his decision to always do the right, just and respectable thing. Dimitri Belikov personified everything that I hoped I could be and unrealistically, what I wanted the people around me to be. Though he’s strong, rough and charismatic; he is also reserved, respectful and kind. His character went through a difficult time during the course of the series, reaching the brink of insanity more than once. Yet, I admired the way he handled his vices and flaws. The way he gracefully navigated through everything life threw his way. Most of all, I admire his honour. I admire that he stays true to his moral code and refuses to budge from it, no matter how wanton the desire to do so. At only 13, Dimitri Belikov helped me realise the core values I wanted to represent and personify. And ever since, I try my best to be as brave, as honourable and as honest as he is.
What I Know for Sure by Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey is a wonderful woman. Growing up, I didn’t know much about her, just her name. Even now, everything I know of who she is and what she stands for, is through her book. And I find that to be absolutely okay because Oprah’s book taught me the importance of independence and self-love. She shares wondrous experiences and speaks excellent tales that enthralled me throughout the time I read this book. She taught me that life is a constant climb towards who one is meant to be. And for me, the person I’m meant to be is kind, genuine and caring. Oprah taught me never to let go of this ideal self of mine. More importantly, she taught me to put me above anyone else. She taught me never to beg for something when I know that I deserve better. She strengthened my resolve in a time of turmoil.
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Man’s Search for Meaning is one of my favourite books that I have ever read. The tragedy and the hope will forever inspire me. Frankl threw light on a very important idea that I strive to live by each day. He said something along the lines of, ‘A person dies the second he loses the sense of hope within him’. And I do believe this. I believe that through all the hardships we may go through in life, most possibly not even scratching the surface of what Frankl and his fellow campmates went through, it is important to constantly believe that we will get better and so will our circumstances. Hope is my driving force. And this hope drives the ‘meaning’ that Frankl speaks so passionately about. The meaning of life that each person defines for themselves is what gives them their identity, their purpose and their peace. Frankl taught me this and so much more in his recollection of experiences and his ideas of logotherapy.
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne
This book made me sad. Completely, utterly sad. The innocence, the rawness and the naiveness of this book touched me. It caused me to wonder if it was possible that there truly were such pairs of young children who built short-lived friendships that ended tragically. It caused me to contemplate on the Nazi regime, the brutality of it and the lives it took away. It made me absolutely soft to read what I did. This was one of the few books that made me cry. I’ve let out a few tears before, but never so heartfelt.
12 Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson
I never intended on reading this book. Not even in the slightest. But I remember being at college one morning, getting a call in which I heard, “Come outside your class in a minute.” When I went outside, this book was handed to me. And I was asked to read it. And honestly, I’m eternally grateful that I did. This book touched me in more ways than one. It was a rude awakening. Peterson is not one to sugarcoat, and I’m glad he wasn’t. When I read this book, I was dealing with intense anxiety, intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviours. I couldn’t stay calm and my thoughts felt like they were constantly badgering my brain. This book took my mind off my thoughts and allowed me to apply my brain in its understanding. Peterson speaks honestly and boldly about everything that can and will go wrong with a person’s life, while also offering advice on how to deal with it. Though there are plenty of Peterson’s ideas that I do not agree with, there are some that have worked wonders for me. He’s not the most typical life-guide, sure. But a few of the words from his book helped me navigate through some truly tumultuous times.
So, that’s that, I guess. Some books that I have truly loved in the past few weeks, months and years. Sometimes, they made my heart feel heavier while sometimes they left me feeling absolutely light. Whatever the emotions, whatever the lesson, I am ever so thankful for having read them at the right moments in my life.
Memoirs of a Muse 