We were having a discussion about love, relationships and marriage in my Positive Psychology class today. I didn’t listen to the entire class, but when I tuned in, my professor was speaking about sacrifice. Sacrifice for love. Some of my fellow students expressed that they didn’t believe love is enough for a relationship or marriage, practical considerations are equally important. I agree entirely.
You know, I’ve been thinking about this: sacrificing things for love. I wasn’t able to do it two years ago. And I don’t think I’d be able to do it now. I haven’t ever sacrificed for anyone, not even family, I’ve realised. I’ve always been too individualistic, wrapped up in my own ambitions and desires and have never, not even for a moment, considered giving up something I value for someone I love. I value my alone time, my work, my education and my space. I would never choose to stay with family as opposed to attending a brilliant university. I would never voluntarily give up work and academic stuff to hang out with friends and family. I don’t know why, but that’s just how I am. Or how I’ve become.
I like my individuality and I like doing things my way, when I want to do them. I intend to fulfil the concrete plans I have in my mind and I intend to do it on my terms. I don’t think I’d be able to move across the country for someone, give up a dream job or forego an incredible opportunity. I wasn’t ready two years ago and I’m not ready now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. And that’s terrifying.
I’ve heard over and over and over again that love is sacrifice. You give to, give for, the person you cherish more than anyone else. I’ve heard this from my mum, my professors and I’ve read about it. Yet, it’s scary because at 20 years old, I can’t ever imagine myself giving up the things I’ve worked so hard for.
Maybe I’m a little too young to think about sacrifice but what if I’m never ready?
Memoirs of a Muse 