There are some nights

Most poetry I write is a product of two whole minutes of just feeling whatever it is I’m feeling and putting it into words. This is one of those, from last night.

There are some nights

There are some nights
When I want to cry, but I can’t
Instead, I rock back and forth in the darkness
Willing my tears to pour
But none come
There are some nights
When I feel a crushing guilt
Tightening in my chest
I try to let it out
But I can’t
There are some nights
When my hands
Don’t feel like my hands
My feet don’t feel like my feet
And my eyes don’t see clearly
There are some nights
When I’m just a body
Disconnected from her soul
Rocking back and forth
Feeling numb
Disconnected
Alone
There are some nights
When I’m this horrible,
Lifeless version of myself
And I’m rocking back and forth
Willing my tears to pour
But none come

20th April, 2020