Goals?

I’ve never been the most ambitious person. I’ve never aimed to be the ‘best’ or the ‘biggest achiever’. For some reason though, it’s somehow always happened for me. Though I never actively strive to be the best, I end up being in the top four or five when it comes to most activities that matter. And this is not because I’m just lucky or because sneakily enough, I’ve been working my butt off for the prize. Instead, it’s because I often work for myself. Either that, or I work to prove myself to those who don’t believe in me. This self-belief and desire to show others that I can achieve a whole lot more than what they expect of me have always driven me, ever since I’ve been a child.

But as I grow older, as I learn more in my undergraduation, I realize that sometimes, it’s not about being the best, proving something to ourselves or showing others our true capabilities; rather it’s simply about driving ourselves to be as helpful, as good as possible in our chosen fields.

And I’m already past stage one. I’ve chosen my field.

Now, I’m at that point in my college career when I must accurately define my goals and start working towards them if I am to achieve what I have planned out for my life.

My plans aren’t impossible to fulfill. They’re difficult, but not impossible. If I’m firm enough, dedicated enough, I will make it. And that’s exactly what the goals I’ve set for myself are for. They’re written promises to myself, that I’ll try my level best to be the person I strive to be.

I don’t want my goals to burden me and neither do I want them to engulf my life entirely. I feel like we all have a choice in this regard, either choose goals that are all-consuming and entirely overpowering, or choose ones that are not as bold, do not keep us up at night and do not completely drive us.

I’ve chosen the second.

And I know that there are plenty who would argue that these ‘aims’ I’ve set for myself, are not goals at all. However, in my years of life I’ve come to realise that I don’t want to be needlessly rich, incredibly busy at work or constantly awaiting a call from the job. Instead, I want some time to myself too. I want to grow in other areas, rather than just my career. I’ve never believed in giving up my creativity, my freedom or my youth for my career goals. Instead, I’ve always practised a fine balance between the two, allowing the scale to tip over to one side whenever required.

That being said, I don’t want to end up entirely unsuccessful and worthless (by my own standards and regard) either. I don’t want to be any less than what I’ve planned for myself. I don’t want to give any of my dreams up.

Yet, I also am unwilling to dedicate my entire being to them, as like I said before, I believe in a life more than just my career. I believe in hobbies, ideas and freedom.

So, I guess I’m still dabbling, still thinking, still learning. I’m still a tad confused, possibly a little misguided and fairly young.

But, I’ve got my goals and I try my hardest to work towards them.

Despite this, I’ve got things to learn still, so I guess we’ll see.