I miss someone

I miss someone. But I don’t know if it’s real, you know? Do I miss them now, only because I’m feeling anxious and stressed or do I miss them because they sent me something a couple of days ago? Do I miss them because I’m reminiscing? Or do I not miss them at all? And is this just my mind playing tricks on me?

I know that reconciling with this person in any way, shape or form would be pointless simply because we’re both independently busy individuals. I don’t have the time to reconcile and neither do they. I don’t want to give up that time, at this point in my life.

As much as I want to speak to them, see them, hug them; is there a point in doing so when we’ll just end up here again? I don’t think so. I don’t think there’s a point. I think that I should just brave up and build a wall around myself.

I keep telling myself, when the feeling of their loss gets heavy, that I don’t have to think about them anymore. I repeat that thought in my mind over and over, every time they enter my psyche. I’m tired of that.

So then, I wonder, do I really miss them?

I don’t know.